I’m a big list-maker. To-do lists, grocery lists, goals lists, invite lists, you name it.
After my previous relationship ended, a friend of mine suggested I make a different kind of list. This one was a short, no bull-shit list that outlined my core values; my non-negotiables.
When I sat down to write it, nothing came to mind. What did I value? What a loaded question. After some thought, I came up with a few key words that resonated with what I wanted to attract in my life. I jotted down words like humour, honesty, compassion, family. Not only did this exercise make me get clear with what I appreciate in a partner, friend, job, or belief-system, it also made me realize that I’d been compromising core parts of myself in previous relationships.
Compromise can take many shapes and forms in daily life:
You’re striving for a promotion, but know you need to put your time in at the company first; you’re living with four strangers from Craigslist, but you’re saving money to buy your own place soon; you’re working online while you travel to exotic countries, but you’re away from all the familiar comforts of home; you’re ending a relationship, but you’re terrified of being alone; you’re getting into a relationship, but you’re terrified that he or she will stop loving you...